WIFE OF BELOVED PASTOR WHO COMMITTED SUICIDE SPEAKS OUT

Two articles are included in this blog that every pastor and Chrisian worker would be blessed to read. The first is about a pastor who suffered from depression and took his life. The second is a well written article about a young lesbian woman who found forgiveness and freedom in Jesus Christ. The day come could when having read and pondered each of  them will help you navigate troubled waters. 

– Pastor Frank

charismamag.com/life/women/38266-wife-of-beloved-pastor-who-committed-suicide-speaks-out

 

 

 

JESSILYN JUSTICE 

In an agonizing blog post, Kayla Stoecklein responded to her husband, Andrew’s, weekend suicide.

“It’s only been three days. Nothing can take away the suffocating pain I feel now you are gone,” Kayla writes. “I miss every part of you, I see you everywhere. I replay the events of that fateful day over and over again in my mind, wishing I could have done things differently. Wishing I could have held your hand one more time and prayed over you and told you how much I love you, how much I believe in you, and how God’s got this too.”

She continues, “You were right all along, I truly didn’t understand the depths of your depression and anxiety. I didn’t understand how real and how relentless the spiritual attacks were. The pain, the fear and the turmoil you must have been dealing with every single day [were] unimaginable. The enemy knew what an amazing man you were. The enemy knew God had huge plans for your life. The enemy saw how God was using your gifts, abilities and unique teaching style to reach thousands of lives for Him. The enemy hated it, and he pursued you incessantly. Taunting you and torturing you in ways that you were unable to express to anyone.”

Andrew, the pastor of Inland Hills Church in Chino, California, committed suicide over the weekend, devastating his congregation.

Andrew was reportedly in the middle of a series called “Hot Mess” and was open about his struggle with mental health.

According to Faithwire, Andrew told the church about his personal issues on Aug. 12. You can watch the full sermon here.

After her husband’s death, Kayla apologized through the blog post:

Andrew, I want to tell you from the depths of my heart and my pain, I am so sorry.

I am so sorry you were so scared,

I am so sorry you felt so alone,

I am so sorry you felt misunderstood,

I am so sorry you felt betrayed and deeply hurt by the words and actions of others,

I am so sorry you were fighting a dark spiritual war virtually alone,

I am so sorry you were unable to fully get the help and support you needed.

In the wake of Andrew’s suicide, many church leaders have spoken up about how suicide affects the church, especially pastors.

In an article for Charisma magazine, Christian ministry leader and pastor Jared Laskey writes:

It’s been said that 1 in every 4 pastors struggles with depression. Lifeway Research reveals that the number of pastors diagnosed with clinical depression was double the national average. Forty five percent sought advice from their family doctor regarding stress and anxiety issues. Nearly one-fourth of all pastors (23 percent) acknowledge having “personally struggled with mental illness,” and half of those pastors say the illness has been diagnosed.

I know some people will try to over-spiritualize this blaming principalities and powers. Trying to come up with lists of demons possibly responsible, stating pastors have targets on their backs. But the statistics are nearly the same with those not in ministry.

Sure, spiritual warfare is real. But too many churches are so focused on spiritual warfare when they should be loving people more than they are binding and rebuking the devil. And that includes loving your pastors who are just like you. And other Christian churches will be careless and try to bring “discipline and correction” into situations like these. But their attacks and jabs will only push people further away from God, and cause more struggling pastors to hide their struggles.

Laskey quoted Orlando pastor Paul Valo, “Depression is real and pastors are not exempt or defective who experience it … In this generation, pastors are expected to be business savvy, Instagram quotable preaching celebrities, fully accessible, deeply spiritual, not too young, not too old, and if a pastor doesn’t quite measure up to someone’s expectation at any given moment, they are given a two out of five star rating on Google. Wow! We have reduced the ministry to star ratings on Google! Let me recommend that you pray for your pastor and support your church faithfully! You’ll probably never realize what they walk through privately.”

But for Andrew, it was too late. Despite his death, Kayla says she is committed to fighting for him.

I want to tell you that I am never going to stop fighting for you. I will continue to tell our community and our world what an amazing man you were. Your name will be honored, and you will be remembered as a hero. You fought the good fight, and I can only imagine the incredible place God had prepared for you when you walked through the gates of heaven. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to see your dad again, healthy and strong. I can only imagine how much joy you must feel now that you are truly free. I wish I could be there with you, celebrating on the streets of gold. But for now, I will continue to live for you. I will raise our boys to be men of God, just like you were. Your name will live on in a powerful way. Your story has the power to save lives, change lives and transform the way the church supports pastors.

I love you so much, and I will miss you every single day for the rest of my life. When I think of you I will smile, knowing that I will see you again one day. Thank you for 10 wonderful years together. Thank you for giving me the gift of three beautiful blue-eyed boys who all resemble you. Thank you for choosing me, for believing in me and for showing me how to live fearlessly.

Until we meet again, I will cling to my Father in heaven. He will carry me through every second, every minute, every hour of every day. I read a verse this morning, and I know God is reminding me that even now, in the midst of my deepest pain, He has got this.

Related Articles

 

Related posts

PASSING THE TORCH

By: Frank Tunstall, D. Min. “If you love me, you will obey what I...

“CRAVING TO UNDERSTAND”

By: Frank Tunstall The prophets:  “yearning to understand Messiah’s suffering and glory” (1 Peter...

THE CROSS IS OUR STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN

 ChristianityToday.com/ct/2019/November/cross-is-our-stairway-to-heaven.html Our salvation comes not from someone on our level, but from someone infinitely...

HOW BILLY GRAHAM LEARNED THE ART OF PREACHING

https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2019/august-web-exclusives/billy-graham-learned-art-of-preaching.html? The late evangelist called himself the “champion rambler.” By: Grant Wacker  When I...

THE BILLY GRAHAM RULE GOES TO COURT

https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2019/august/billy-graham-rule-sheriff-north-carolina-lawsuit.html? A North Carolina sheriff’s deputy sues his former employer for religious discrimination after...

BIVOCATIONAL AND COVOCATIONAL MINISTRY

  www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2019/spring/no-easy-calling.html? Three honest stories about its rewards and challenges. BY: LINDA W. PERKINS...

SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE CLERGY

 www.snapnetwork.org/abuse of faith_feb19 Debbie Vasquez at 14 By:  SNAP  Survivors Network of those Abused...

YOUR PLAN B IS STILL GOD’S PLAN

christianitytoday.com/women/2019/january/church-planting-your-plan-b-is-still-gods-plan.html  By: Sandra Peoples In 2015, my husband and I moved from rural Pennsylvania...

THE MAGNIFICAT

By Frank Tunstall The Holy Spirit overshadowed the Virgin Mary in the miraculous and...

A CAROL FOR THE DESPAIRING

www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/december/longfellow-carol-for-despairing-i-heard-bells.html Penned during the Civil War, Longfellow’s ‘I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day’...

?? A DIGITAL CHURCH IN THE DIGITAL AGE ??

 https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2018/fall-state-of-church-ministry/embodied-church-in-digital-age.html Should we cheer or moan when online churches perform virtual baptisms? By: Kara...

CHINA CRACKS DOWN – AGAIN

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/november/what-to-do-about-persecution-in-china.html?share=56xKkXi%2fdTPQjQCm3LBm6NPogOGXW4vm   The government is removing crosses from their steeples and replacing them...

WHERE HAVE ALL THE CHURCH PLANTERS GONE?

christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2018/august/where-have-all-church-planters-gone.                  What’s the greatest hindrance to effective church planting? BY: Jeff Christopherson You...

SINGLES: A VITAL PART OF OUR CHURCHES

www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2018/july/singles-vital-part-of-our-churches Singles make up half of our churches, so we best learn to treat...

3 COMMON REASONS FOR MINISTRY BURNOUT

www.startchurch.com/blog/view/name/how-to-prevent-ministry-burnout? By: Raul Rivera Burnout reason #1: Critical Church Members Oftentimes, one of the...

THESE BOMBS LED ME TO CHRIST

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/may/napalm-girl-kim-phuc-phan-thi-fire-road.html The “Napalm Girl” from a famous Vietnam War photo tells her story of...

JESUS’ GLORIFIED BODY

 By Frank G. Tunstall  Cleopas and his unnamed friend had Jesus’ undivided attention on...

“JESUS WEPT!”

 By Frank G. Tunstall When Mary walked up to Jesus on the outskirts of...

5 TOP PRIORITIES FOR INCREASING YOUR CHURCH

 sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/charles-arn-5-top-priorities-for-increasing-your-church This article is a classic on church growth. It was first released in 2010...

OFFENDED BY JESUS?

By: Frank G. Tunstall  Luke records a story about Jesus paying a visit to...

EVANGELIST BILLY GRAHAM HAS DIED

www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2018/billy-graham/mom-mass-media-and-me.html ‘America’s pastor’ shaped modern evangelicalism. By: Marshall Shelley Billy Graham was perhaps the...

ICEBERG COLD REJECTION

  By: Frank G. Tunstall  Jesus the Prophet deserved the highest adoration, but the...

BLAME US FOR GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN

https://townhall.com/columnists/calthomas/2018/01/23/blame-us-for-government-shutdown-n2438025     By: Cal Thomas If we don’t like what is happening in...

THE SURPRISING REASON YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE

https://hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-mission/the-surprising-reason-you-are-where-you-are-8093 By: Ron Hutchcraft Some years ago, we took a delegation of teenagers to...

WHAT YOUR PASTOR REALLY WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS

ChristianityToday.com/pastors/2017/november-web-exclusives/what-your-pastor-really-wants-for-christmas.html?utm_source BY:The editors of CTPastors.com This Christmas, forego the wooden praying hands, the cross-stitched...

CAN THERE BE ONE RIGHT RELIGION?

http://seanmcdowell.org/blog/can-there-be-one-right-religion; Posted November 14, 2017   By: Sean McDowell Recently I was in a...

THE ONE GROUP YOU MIGHT FORGET THIS CHRISTMAS

http://blog.thrivingpastor.com/the-one-group-you-might-forget-this-christmas-2/?refcd=574803&utm_campaign=Thriving+Pastor By John McGee  Nov. 27, 2017 The holiday season is upon us. As...

HEALING HEALERS

By Phil Larson, as told to Frank Tunstall The world’s largest casino is located...

FAITH IS NOT BLIND!

BY: FRANK TUNSTALL Some critics’ claim Christians believe on blind faith, defined as belief...

HOW WE GOT OUR BIBLE: CHRISTIAN HISTORY TIMELINE

 http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/issues/issue-43/how-we-got-our-bible-christian-history-timeline.html Have you ever wondered how the Bible has developed through the centuries, so...

IRS TAXES PASTOR FOR SALARY HE NEVER RECEIVED

www.utm_source=internal&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=blog&utm_content=irs_taxes_pastor_for_salary_he_never_received_2017_10_05 By: Raul Rivera This time of year we get an abundance of phone...

WHAT THE CARPENTER SEES IN YOU

https://hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-most-important-relationship/what-the-carpenter-sees-in-you-7979  By Ron Hutchcraft  Hutchcraft.Com Many years ago we were shopping for a place...

A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING UNDERWAY AT WHITE HOUSE

http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/politics/2017/july/bible-studies-at-the-white-house-whos-at-the-heart-of-this-spiritual-awakening “It’s the best Bible study that I’ve ever taught in my life. They...

WHEN A PRIVATE APOLOGY IS NOT ENOUGH

sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/joe-mckeever-when-a-private-apology-is-not-enough   This article is certainly thought provoking. I think he is saying something...

REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU’RE TIRED OF PEOPLE

thrivingpastor.com/remember-this-when-youre-tired-of-people-2/?refcd=518301&utm_campaign=Remember+This+When+You’re+Tired+of+People   By: John McGee  July 10, 2017 / Focus on the Family Have...

HOW TO LAST IN MINISTRY

Pastor Rick’s Ministry Toolbox <info=pastors.com@mail143.wdc02.mcdlv.net By: Rick Warren Ministry is a marathon: it’s not...

THE SUCCESS AFFAIR

christianitytoday.com/pastors/2017/june-web-exclusives/success-affair.html?utm_source=leadership-tml&utm_medium=Newsletter Why do so many adulterous relationships begin when ministry is going well? By:...

THE MANY BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE

http://blog.thrivingpastor.com/the-many-benefits-of-gratitude/?refcd=504701&utm_campaign=The+Many+Benefits+of+Gratitude This well written article is excellent for focusing us on the grace of...

THE SOBBING SAVIOR

By: Frank G. Tunstall I thought about it hundreds of times over the years,...

HOSANNA

By: Frank G. Tunstall “The next day the great crowd that had come for...

“PRAY FIRST!”

Dr. Ron White serves as president of Emmanuel College. He assumed that role October...

COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS

sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/lance-witt-courageous-conversations–part-2 By: Lance Witt Courageous conversations is a battle of prepositions.  Half of the...

ONE QUESTION YOU MUST NEVER ASK IN MINISTRY

classic.sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/joe-mckeever-one-question-you-must-never-ask-in-ministry-2697.asp? “Sow your seed in the morning, and do not be idle in the...

I WENT TO HELL IN A DREAM

  charismamag.com/spirit/supernatural/28155-revivalist-i-went-to-hell-in-a-dream During this night of terror more than 25 years ago, I fell...

FRANKLIN GRAHAM SPEAKS OUT ABOUT ELECTION

theblaze.com/stories/2016/10/16/franklin-graham-sounds-off-about-the-evangelical-response-to-trumps-latest-scandals By: Franklin Graham   October 16, 2016 A lot of people are slamming evangelicals...

WILL MORE INVITATIONS RESULT IN MORE SALVATIONS?

http://www.sermoncentral.com/pastors-preaching-articles/hal-seed-will-more-invitations-result-in-more-salvations-2592.asp? By Hal Seed // PastorMentor.com For a long time I’ve wondered if there...

DANCING ON THE EDGE

Released by Focus on the Family, June 6, 2016 http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce-and-infidelity/affairs-and-adultery/dancing-on-the-edge By: A pastor who’s...

WHEN TO DISOBEY?

 By: David Koyzis  What happens when the demands of government contradict our faith in...

The Day I Hit the Wall

By: Gordon McDonald Marathon runners speak of “hitting the wall,” a moment in a...

HONORING MARRIAGE

Posted by Focus on the Family, December 7, 2015 by Kevin Conklin I once...

Life Is Eternal; Don’t Have an Affair!

http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/august/life-is-eternal-dont-have-affair.html By Ed Stetzer  Aug. 25, 2015. This week, we’ve found it’s not as...

MODERN-DAY MARTYRS

BY Richard Greene With cancer eating away at her, the Iraqi woman faced a...

Divorced Dads

A Helpful Perspective on Your Ex The Championship Fathering blog by Carey Casey One...

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.




Top